Tuesday, April 15

What is the greatest struggle you face as a daughter?

Join Libby from A Noble Calling and Caitlin from Daughter of Destiny as we answer the question, "What is the greatest struggle you face as a daughter?"

For me, the expectations and remarks of others is the greatest struggle I face. I try to live up to the standards of my family, friends, church, and world rather than God's standards. Trying to make everyone happy is not only impossible, but sinful, because our God is a jealous God. He wants us to serve only Him.

Every family has the "golden child" -- you know the one. The smart kid that every family member invests in because they "just know she's gonna go places." Well, my only cousin and I were the golden children. Activities, camps, best public school in Virginia, high scores, great grades, internships, work experiences… we were "going places."

So when I left college and told people I wasn't going for a career they were…shocked, disappointed, frustrated, critical. Accepting and encouraging was not at the top of the list. Even today, I can on my hand the number of friends and family who are truly supportive of my life choices. As daughters, we live in a war zone of silent and expressed criticism of our choices. It can be isolating and alienating, particularly for me as I very much live among friends, family, and church with worldly expectations.

I could write a book on all the comments (well-meaning) people make to me. What I struggle with most is that I get the most resistance to my lifestyle from fellow Christians. Perhaps it's because non-Christians can easily accept that which is foreign to them - if I had a dollar for every time someone says to me, "well you gotta do what makes ya happy…"

No! I try to say… I'm trying to make God happy. But trying to explain the concept of serving God to a non-believer is like trying to make a pig dance the polka.

As daughters, we face the mostly well-meaning comments all the time. But each daughter faces different expectations from friends, family, and church. Some are expected to attend Bible college. Some are expected to enter the mission field. Some are expected to help raise younger siblings. Most are expected to seek higher education and career.

People want a return on their investment, and biblical daughterhood usually isn't considered a high yielding asset. As Libby wrote on her blog recently, there are many misconceptions about daughterhood.

Growing up, a lot was invested in me. I was expected to succeed at a respected college, get a prestigious position in an acceptable field, rise in the field, and then marrying and having kids would be acceptable.Those who knew me assumed I would become a lawyer, a political activist, a non-profit starter, a principal, even a teacher, but certainly not a career-less-live-at-home-lazy-naive-moocher!

Yep, I'm a proud career-less-live-at-home-lazy-naive-moocher!

Every day I fight with the expectations and comments, but in the end, Christ is my advocate. HE responds to every comment and expectation whether today, or on judgement day.

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to join Caitlin from Daughter of Destiny and Libby @ A Noble Calling as she answers the same question.


  1. Wonderful post, Cameron! I can SO relate to what you said. This was such a great idea, and it is encouraging to read similar stories :)

  2. Great post Cameron!
    Amen! Christ is the Advocate! Thanks for including me in this! :)

  3. Cameron, knowing you has made me even more thankful that the Lord convicted my parents about these things when I was little! I have always had their support, and, unlike some people I know, who's parents have just expected them to "get it" eventually, their guidance. As I have become a little older, and people have started asking me more "What are you're plans for collage/in a couple years?", I've often wondered how to let them know that I really don't plan on any, really, without giving the wrong impression. I'll always loved to read and study, and I will continue that for all my life, but as far as collage goes, I don't plan to. I might POSSIBLY consider online collage... but I really don't have a reason to, at this moment, and, quite frankly, prefer the idea of teaching younger siblings, helping with the house, encouraging younger girls, and, Lord willing, running a handcraft business that will benefit orphans, until, if ever, the Lord brings someone into my life for me to be helpmeet to. My parents have not "forced" this on me- of course, they haven't argued either :). It's just that fine line between "this is what I plan" and "this was not forced", all the while graciously. It's definitely one of the ways God gives us to share him with the world!


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